the Delve

Asian Parents Are Not All The Same, duh! But what I am addressing here is the misconception that Asian parents prioritize results. Getting endless As, the mastery of an instrument is not what all Asian parents prioritize. It’s too stereotypical.

I say this because my parents are not like that. Eventhough my mom was an A- student, role model, public speaker in her schooling years, she did not require that of me. Perhaps because she didn’t do well in her last high school year and had contemplated ending her life if her mother (my grandmother) had pressured her on her results. Thank God that did not happen. 

Maybe it’s also because of her life experience, she didn’t further her studies. Back then, universities is a fairy-tale for a lot of people. My mother is more of a business person and she thrives in that area. Yeah, Chinese and business.

The one thing she always emphasize to me over and over again is that “Personality, Attitude, Character are the most important. Without them, however excellent your results and achievements are; even if you are the world’s No. 1, you are NOTHING. “

Skip Beat, a nonsensical title for a Taiwanese drama that made much sense and felt real; ironically I still don’t understand the meaning behind this drama title - neither the English nor the Mandarin. 

Don’t judge the story by the title. 

This first episode of this drama embossed an impression in my mind so deeply that I watched the rest of the episodes online; before the second episode is aired on Saturday. There’s something different about my attitude to this drama this time ‘round; I didn’t rush through the episodes, skip parts, head straight to the last episode because of my out of control impatience - I’m surprised at myself. Instead, I was calm and I enjoyed the process rather than the destination.

The thought of watching the last episode did occur to me, but it was a very weak thought. Perhaps because the plot moved quickly, there was no dilly-dally, beating around the bush as do most dramas do. There were 15 episodes, and every time I finish watching one I want to continue to the next episode and not the last. 

I would watch it again someday in the future, deo volente, to analyze it. It surpassed my expectations of a Taiwanese drama. The “very rich guy and very poor girl” essence of typical Taiwanese /Korean love dramas was, in my opinion, at its lowest. However, the “jovial and silly” essence of a typical Taiwanese drama is still retained; also, the female lead addressing the male lead as “Mr. —-” or ” —-  先生”  is still evident. I would say, the drama is balanced. 

There is much to learn from Skip Beat, whether is it concerning love, life, acting or culture. I can’t help but to wonder about the scriptwriter, it takes much observation, analysis, experience, reflection, and self-introspection to come out with a profound script like this. Complicated things were made simple, acting tips were given, psychological observations was revealed. One thing I dislike about the drama and most dramas is the emphasis on revenge. And concerning Dark Moon, is it the same as the one mentioned in Secret Garden?

Perhaps this drama is different because it is a Taiwan-Korean-(Japanese) collaboration. This drama is very diverse, it is also an eye opener to other cultures. Maybe this diversity is another reason why I like Skip Beat. 

I even follow the male lead- Si Won aka Dun He Lian, on twitter yesterday after reading and finding more about him. 

The characters is also a reason why I like the drama. They are very likable; the President with it’s “interesting acting hobby” - something I always do in my mind. The President’s granddaughter, who is mature in thought, rational, and different.

The female lead (Gong Xi), her big eyes and innocent, childish nature; sometimes I see her in me, just that that part of me is away, trapped and lost. She reminded me of my childhood favorite 小燕子 - Zhao Wei and Tang Yen from Pandamen. She has qualities that we can all learn from. She always gets up when she falls, she doesn’t give up, and she loves at all most times. Observe the way she relate to people. I have so much to learn just from her in her human relations. Gong Xi’s best friend, whose concrete armor was broken by the female lead. Gong Xi’s boss(es), whose words “All roads lead to Rome, if you can’t find one, make your own route!” lifted her spirits and determination to pick herself up again. Those words were the turning point. 

The male lead, whose voice was dubbed because his mandarin won’t be as fluent as the other characters. His character is so calm and gentle that it felt so surreal, and his smile to cover up things. His encouraging nature makes the acting world a much better place. I am quite certain he did some cosmetic surgery before, his nose and eyes. I saw some imperfections as well, and it’s a good thing; because he seemed so perfect.

The first time I saw Si Won was in Spring Waltz; he acted as a micro-role. I think he was barely 20 then. The second time was in Oh!My Lady. Ye Eun. This remind me of Hyun Bin and the dramas he acted in. 

I think my eyes are attracted to males like Si Won, he reminded me of Lee Hom, Arif Rahman, a little of Bruce Lee, Wu Zun, and a few male friends. Hmphmm…

The male lead’s manager is amazing, I think he’s the best manager a good-mannered actor could ever ask for. He looked like a honest man, well, his blouse is always buttoned up, not a nerd, he looked like someone you can really trust and depend on. He has this yellow telephone extension attached to his phone. I still remember a comment he made, it was about fans having posters of Lian on their walls, computer filled with Lian’s pictures. 

There were a couple of time where I guessed the dialogue correctly. If I ever be a script writer, I want to be like the script writer of this drama, imputing so much in people’s lives. Hey, Scrip Writer for Skip Beat, you’ve inspired me.

Now, I’d be watching dramas with a new perspective; thanks to Skip Beat, I’ll observe character in dramas and the think about the process of filming more. I’ve been thinking about characters in stories, movies, and dramas recently, even before I watched the first episode of Skip Beat about four days ago. When I’m done analyzing, reflecting, searching, perhaps I will write about my findings. 

I will meet you someday.

Lastly/in conclusion, a phrase from the lyrics of a certain Skip Beat theme song spoke to me. Love that has not been tested cannot be considered real love. This encouraged me in my relationship with God, I always said that I love Him because He first loved me, but whenever I am tested or tried I always complain. I shall remind myself that another reason for tests and trials is so that my love for Him will be proven true and real. 

I was suppose to turn to Romans 13:1-7 but was not aware that I landed on 1 Corinthians 13. Well, I don’t think it’s by chance. 

Until recently, I did not comprehend what Paul meant. Yes, it’s a famous passage from the scripture even the pagans know. I did memorized it, I remember my classmates reciting a few verses. But it was gobbledygook to me. 

Now, I comprehend it better. 

Verses 1-3 speaks about the many good deeds we can do, but the driving force behind it may not be love. We can be a famous preacher, great evangelist, most sought prophet, but have no love within us. 

Verses 4-7 are about the essence of love. It tells you how God define love, you’ll find yourself fall short of it. It’s 180degrees away from how our society define love. 

Verse 8 is still vague to me. To me, it is contrary to verse 1-3. 

Verses 9-12 are comforting words in its own way. Paul tells us that he don’t know everything, we don’t know everything. But, whatever he knows he shares it with us; whatever we know, we share it with others. However, there will come a day when we will “know fully”.

Verse 13
Faith that can move mountains
Hope that can wait a thousand years
Love is still the greatest

“Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”

I have faith, I have hope, but do I have the greatest? Do you?

Have you ever had something too much that you felt so sick of it? Then you tell yourself you will never have that again……anytime soon; until you forget about it.

Well, this person I know dislike milk and dislike making phone calls. She could not comprehend why she had this phobia of making calls; if she have to make any she would ask her friends to do it.

One day, she realized that she wasn’t always like that since birth.

She was away for a 3 month camp last year end when a guy friend asked her why does she have a big body-does she drink a lot of milk? It was her mom who reminded her that she did had a lot of milk. Now milk disgusts her, well, maybe except for HL milk when it goes with cereal.

She had too much milk and have made too many calls to random numbers when she was a toddler. When her nanny took care of her, she drank about 7-8 bottles of milk each day and still eat her 3 meals and fruits. Sometimes she would be given a branch of grapes. She would be sitting in front of the television watching Ultraman while enjoying the grapes; which she would savor slowly one by one, peeling the skin and removing the seeds by herself.

You see, her nanny took care of other children as well. There was this older boy who just drink 7-8 bottles of milk each day without having his meals. And he grew up to tall and thin, while she barely touch 5 feet…perhaps there were other reasons to explain her short stature but it’s out of topic.

One of her “favorite” past time when she was around “that 7-8 bottles of milk each day years” was picking up the telephone and dial random numbers. There are photographic evidence for this. Making phone calls is a big deal for her, but she is overcoming this phobia slowly by the grace of God.

If I were to learn one thing from this story, it is “there is a reason behind everything.’

Her phone credit expired. I think it had expired for two weeks. I don’t think she’ll her finish using her credit unless some emergency happened. 

She haven’t bought bread. She was supposed to. Mother was busy. 

Have to reach the driving school at around 8.

Went to a nearby store to buy bread. She didn’t see any bread she likes. There was no Twiggies or old-school Gardenia bread. When she finally chose and was about to pay, the store owner said, “Check the expiry date.” The bread she chose expired yesterday. 

“What is this? Thank God the lady is kind enough to ask me to check the date.” she thought as she was trying to choose what bread to buy, again.

Mother was unhappy with her choice. The bread would expire in two days and it’s green in color. It’s kaya! She wanted to go back to the store later to change. When she came back later that day, she father ate two-thirds of it already. 

They stopped at the petrol station. She bought credit for her phone and a 70 cents Gardenia chocolate bread. It reminded her of primary school. 

“I’m forever stuck with windows XP while everyone around me have moved on to Mac or Windows 7!” she pondered.

“When will I ever get to have Windows 7?! On the recent days when she pondered upon this cyber/gadget race, she didn’t know that God was working behind her circumstances.

Deep down inside, she knew that everything happens for a reason. Who knows, in the future it might be an encouraging true life story to share with someone.

True enough.

She computer died. Her father was using it when the electricity went out. And only after a few the computer was sent to the technician. It came back, with windows 7! (With the Chinese characters input she longed for.)

God is amazing!

9th March 2012

“Driving manual is not that bad after all,” she thought to herself. “What you need is a good instructor who gives clear directions.”

I guess was afraid because driving is out of her comfort zone, out of her control. She didn’t even want to do it in the first place. Compared to exams the education or music life, you don’t have much time preparing for a driving test; especially when you don’t even have a manual car or a friend to have extra classes with you. 

If it wasn’t for God, and the people around her whom God blessed her with, I think she’ll be fearful till now. 

It’s actually quite simple. As long as you follow the steps given, you’ll do fine. I wondered how many times had she told herself, “I can do this. I will pass.”

I think she’s afraid of failing. Who doesn’t? Stories of her cousins and friends failing the tests gave her little comfort. “I have to pass. If I fail, I won’t retake it till God knows when.” but that’s different now.

“I guess you just have to put it all in HIS hands” these words struck her back to her sense. It was by a friend younger than her. 

Have you ever played a game so long, accumulated/gained so much money and knock down so many levels; but with one unintentional click, there it goes. Your money gone.

She experienced that. TWICE. One was Farmville and it was 50 farmcash=50 levels!

Then, just before 10:40pm she deleted the app Snoopy Street Fair because it wouldn’t open. She (thought)she remember deleting and downloading again when she encountered the same problem some time ago.

It didn’t work. Not this time. After 89 days of playing and millions of Snoopy coins and time spent; it’s now gone.

She isn’t remorse about it. It’s time to stop playing. And the level she was in, takes ages to level up. At least 60k for 1%!

If you have experienced a similar experience, don’t think to much about it. Don’t be sad. It’s not worth it. You did gain something, experience.

Be careful what you pray for, because if your prayer is in line with God’s will, it’ll be answered.

I didn’t see it coming. I didn’t know that it was my prayer being answered.

“Take all that I’ve known and break it all apart…”

“Break me and mold me…till every part of me is consecrated to thee.”

“I’m broken inside, I give You my life.”

And it happened.

“Everything” that I know and believe in was broken into pieces.

A mighty earthquake shook my beliefs. Another prayer answered. “Shake me! Shake of everything that is not of you in my life…”

If it weren’t for the firm foundation I was built upon, my entire life would have been buried and lost in the oceans, like Atlantis. Gazillion questions surfaced.  

*Reminder: The foolish man build his house on sand, the wise man, upon the Rock. Are they things in my life built upon the sand, if yes, what is it? 

Which is TODAY.

I just came back from an epic “life drama”. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I shall choose to have faith and trust God.

The National Bank CDM (Cash Deposit Machine) ate my money. I don’t know the exact amount of money I put inside because I didn’t count. I thought the machine would do they counting for me. I guess I shouldn’t have overestimate the ability of a government bank machine. I didn’t even arrange the money I put in in proper order, which means 100s, 50s and 10s were mixed together. I thought the machine is clever enough to do it. The machine encounter some problem and swallow all the money. I thought the machine would reject notes, that’s how it always it, well, at least with private banks.

I THOUGHT, 7 letters forming a POWERFUL word, or should I say one of the most DESTRUCTIVE word ever. The Chinese 我以为。 I remember a friend of mine’s view on the words, “我以为”, it may actually cost one’s life.

I shall begin the drama, from beginning to the end. Don’t worry I’m making it brief. How “adventurous” can my life be? Because of this, I have another clumsily interesting story to share here, in Life’s Dramas. I’m sure God knew of this day since before I was born. Will I get my money back? How will the rest of the story turn out? Will there be a climax? What would be the denoument? I hope it’ll be resolved quickly. Is the the one of the storms in life I’d be facing and yet I’ll have God’s peace which transcends all understanding?

Today is the third day of the Chinese New Year. I’ve received ang pous, the least of all years. But I decided to bank in whatever money I had because my mom is going to bank in. And I don’t want to keep the money lest I spent it unwisely. And I didn’t count the money. I wasn’t prepared when the car stopped in front of the bank and my mother hurried me to get down. I ask her to get a parking, she didn’t. I thought about counting the money but I got down already and cars were coming from behind. I didn’t know which door to enter, thanks to the stickers on the glass door. An uncle pointed the next door.

When I went in, I was third in line for the CDM (Cash Deposit Machine). Second in line was a young man in a blue uniform, like Pertahanan Awam kind. He then moved to the ATM machine. A foreign men was banking in his money and his friend stood beside me. He looked at me from head to my feet, and I imagined him in a nice waiter suit-the black & white tux type. He’ll look really good in it rather than his current chemical patterned jeans, urgh whatever you call those. He had a Middle Eastern look. I also thought about him being wealthy, and now money would make a vast difference. They left and it was my turn.

First try, I couldn’t put my card in so I type my card number instead of my account number; I wasn’t aware of the difference. I thought it’s the same. So fail, the first time. The second time, I manage to insert my card. You may tell me, like my mother while we were reporting that in Cash Deposit, you don’t insert your card. The thing is that the machine’s screen asked to EITHER insert card or type your account number.

I click I-Giro (i think it was the only option, unlike the first time where there’s a other a/c button). The machine’s mouth open and I fed it with my money-the notes were mixed up. I thought the machine is clever enough to count and it’ll reject notes if it doesn’t pass the notes test. How on earth would I know that the machine won’t reject the notes and tell me the transaction failed. I can’t even cancel the transaction to retrieve my money back.

A security guard grandfather was behind me and another man was there as well. They gave me some reassuring words that the bank will check and the rest of the money would be mine when I said I didn’t count the amount I put it. I’m sure they’ll tell this joke to their families. “You didn’t count?”

My mom came in and said she thought I was robbed. Oh yes! I certainly was robbed. By the bank’s machine. The bank was closed to latecomers, but we manage to get in. The “police” let us in after he learnt of my predicament. I had to fill a form. I didn’t know the date, he was like, it’s CNY and you don’t know the date. So what if it’s CNY.

Then I don’t know my account number. He took my card, went the the counter and printed it our for me. :D Your daughter? He asked my mother. Sorry, mother if I’ve shamed you again. Then my mother educated me briefly about banking stuffs. Before this she told me to opened an account in Public Bank. Then I asked about accumulating interests. She said something about asking me not to bank in to the government bank. She ask why didn’t I ask her, and is it because I’m afraid to let her know how much money I have.

In about a week I should get an answer, (better my money as well!) I shall make another trip there tomorrow. Oh God, please do make a way for me. Are you laughing at how funny I can be a lot of times? Thank God she didn’t lecture me after getting in to the car. We even went for vegetarian.

P.s. Or was I absent-minded.

Oh, Seth. I hope I’ll get enough money. I want you so badly.

By the way, it’s my first time banking in to my own account but it’s not my first time banking in money. I don’t even know my account no. and, I haven’t even go to the bank to get the account book, because I didn’t even know it exist. Yes, LOL! Do not be anxious, about anything, but in pray and petition in thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your heart.